Mixed Lot

Rocket Science - the Norwich Dictionary defintion being 'Something that is beyond the Pleb'

Now, call me old fashioned, but I was taught maths at school. They don't teach maths in school any more for fear of offending stupid people. That's crazy though, because stupid people are too stupid to realise that they are stupid.

Fortunately, most people are not stupid, which is why they will see through some of the outrageous 'offers' that some local auction houses have been making to vendors of late. These include everything from the promise of a night out with Megan Fox to a personal baptism with Jesus Christ in the Jordan River. No doubt driven by a desperate need to stay afloat - although I wouldn't trust most to maintain a firm grip of your heel...

Most outrageous of all, however, is the concept of 'No lotting fee' which is becoming increasingly employed as a marketing tool to persuade vendors to place items on consignment in the belief that any fees incurred will be minimal. Many auction houses like this tactic because it makes them look like they give a shit.

Perhaps some are genuine but in truth the maths just doesn't stack up. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that auction houses have a fee structure that usually includes:

1) A lotting (administrative fee) levied on each entry (typically ranging from £0 to £5)
2) A selling premium (typically ranging from 0% to 25%)
3) An insurance premium (typically 1.5%)
4) Collection fees (anything from £0 to £60 an hour)
5) Storage charges (anything from £5 a week)
6) Disposal of unsold goods fees (the charges for which are about as clear as government in the Dark Ages)
7) Statement fees (anything from £0 to £5 per sheet)
8) Electrical testing charges (anything from £1 to £5)

The list is endless and in fact I am out of breath just thinking about it all.

Which is why we like to keep things simple. We are a business and we have to make money. All vendors accept that. Our job is to make as much money for a vendor as possible and take as small a slice as possible whilst still making a profit. So, we charge:

• £1 lotting fee


• 10% inclusive selling premium

Isn't that nice and simple?

So, if you sell something through us for £100, you will receive £89

Let's do the maths for another, typical auction house, not charging a lotting fee.

£100

(£0) lotting fee

(£15) 15% selling premium

(£3) VAT

(£1.50) insurance premium

Balance to vendor - £80.50

Oh sorry, and a quick statement to let you know 'How you got on' (£2) - leaves £78.50

Oh, and you will probably have to deduct the cost of petrol to drive all the way there and back - some of those auction houses are miles away.

It's not rocket science...