Mixed Lot

If you are easily offended then close this page down and visit our official website at http://www.barnesauctioneers.co.uk/ Otherwise, read on...

I don't know what it was that I ate at Shiki last night but whatever it was left me with the distinct feeling that my stomach had absolutely no chance of digesting it. I am usually an advocate of Japanese food but this shit had almost certainly been prepared at the Fukushima Daiishi nuclear plant before landing on my plate on a bed of salad. Next time I'll stick to a bento box.

There was a bit of an Oriental flavour all round at The Cloisters yesterday. One of my colleagues recently invested in a load of Satsuma ware and I must confess that my initial reaction was 'She'll struggle to shift that' but in fact the stuff sold like hotcakes, mainly to one trade buyer who issued the command we all dream about 'I'll have that one and that one and that one and that one and that one...' She ended up having the kind of day that was once commonplace in our world but less so now. She even outsold Dave the Jump, which is almost unheard of down our way.

Dave the Jump is so named because in his military career he conducted over 3,000 parachute jumps, predominantly as an instructor. We have several nicknames for the various characters that come and go in The Cloisters incl:

Bill the Toe (has gout)

Bill the Cleaner (anti-foxing agent)

Bill the Vinyl (sells records)

Lenny the Bastard (don't cross him)

Tall Tony (6'7")

M'Lady (Queen of The Cloisters and shoe aficionado)

Gillian the Thong (for reasons that should be obvious)

Mike the Badge (deals in them)

Diecast Alan (deals in them)

The Lord aka The Mad Baron (our titled visitor)

Coins & Medals (guess what she sells?)

Of course, there are many more...

Most of the names are terms of endearment - there are very few people we dislike down at The Cloisters and some we love, like Val who returned to the fold this week after some time away through ill health. 'I thought you were dead!' one customer said to her...

Thousands of people have come and gone through The Cloisters - it is the longest running weekly antique fair in East Anglia after all. 'I used to have a stall in here in the 1970's' said one woman to me yesterday. Her membership of the club was affected by divorce and the need to get a 'proper job'. Others leave for their own reasons but all are welcome back - like ex-players of a football club. Ok, perhaps The Cloisters isn't quite 'The Theatre of Dreams' but it is a very special place nonetheless. It's the history that sets us apart, embedded in the medieval walls. You don't get that anywhere else.

Latest recruits, Kyle and Martin, have just stepped onto the turf and we welcome them with open arms. Good luck to them - they will need it if they are to stand the rigours of eccentricity and alcoholism necessary to maintain membership of the club...