Mixed Lot

Our trade is glamorous - although in the early hours of the morning at Kempton Park it didn't seem so. It didn't seem so at the Norfolk Showground either as we braved the elements to hunt for antique bargains. And it never seems so at 5am every Wednesday when I get up to face the weekly challenge that is The Cloisters Fair. But it is - glamorous that is.

It's glamorous because each day brings about the prospect of gold. Every antique dealer has a tale to tell and like fishermen, the stories get ever more unbelievable. But in fact, many are true and it is the chase for those hidden gems that drives us. Like alchemy, in our trade it is possible to turn base metals and objects into gold.

The news has been full of Chinese vases selling for millions of late but that is not representative of the day to day life of an antique dealer. It's the little deals that are made that make it exciting. In The Doghouse on Thursday evening I bought an Omega watch at the bar - and sold it three minutes later for a small profit. At the Norfolk Showground I bought a broken pendant and chain at an outside stall for 50p - and sold it inside for £75 (it turned out to be 10g of 9ct gold). There are rules though - don't ever do that to a friend.

The buzz of buying and selling on for a profit is akin to gambling. And I am addicted to it, although I don't always get it right. But you want to read about a bigger fish - so here it is. At the Norfolk Showground recently, an antique dealer bought a 19th Century elephant tusk for £50. He then sold it in London for £20,000. That's a good days work. I knew I should have gone up there on the Friday (trade day). Puts my little find into perspective.

At a local auction recently, a stamp album sold for just over £200. However, inside were a number of very rare examples to the value in excess of £5,000. That can be topped by a very good friend of mine into whose possession recently came a rare clock surmounted by a bronze eagle. It sat on Hitler's desk in 'the bunker'. What is that worth? Possibly a million pounds.

Our business is glamorous because it involves cash - lots of cash. Another friend of mine bought 4,000 - yes four thousand items at the Norfolk Showground from one dealer. That is a lot.

The trade is awash with stories and most are pretty much true - these things really do go on in the antiques business. Witness the three gold sovereigns found in a secret drawer in a cabinet we sold at auction. Witness the silver tray found at the bottom of a mixed lot of plate. Witness the first edition Harry Potter bought in a charity shop in Dereham for 50p.

It's why there are countless television programmes about our trade - because the general public find what we do fascinating. But here is the really exciting thing - anyone can become an antique dealer. Of course, not everyone has the nose - the ability to root out a truffle from amongst the mud of Provence. But it's not like you need to have an 'O' Level in antiques. Some of the posh people have a degree in fine arts but actually that's like a spotty four-eyed twit taking business studies at college - it counts for nothing in the real world. In the real world, in our world, you need enthusiasm and an ability to learn quickly on the job. You need to be able to look past the rough too because underneath that might be a diamond. It takes years to acquire the skills necessary to turn a coin but just a day to start learning - and it's not difficult to make a small profit from the off. And it's fun. A lot of fun. You'll be introduced into a world populated by the most diverse range of people. You'll make new friends and enjoy it all immensely.

Oh, and then there is the gossip. Not that I am one to gossip - but I have heard that a prominent local auction house has suspended their long-standing auction rooms manager. And that elsewhere, a local auction rooms manager is desperately looking around for another position before he is inevitably sacked for being about as popular as a fat girl at a fashion show.

Oh yes, and let's not be too politically correct or sensitive either - it's a tough business, no doubt about that. You'll make one or two enemies along the way - I have many. They surround me like hyenas around a lion. Oh dear, how sad, never mind.