Mixed Lot

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I don't like the Japanese very much. Any country that is responsible for the pixallation of pornography and eating shark fin soup cannot possibly rank amongst the enlightened elite. I don't buy their continued attempts to distance themselves from the crimes of war either - we all know that their natural instinct for cruelty cannot be contained for long. It's only a matter of time before they invade Burma and start slitting bellies again... The 'Land of the Rising Sun' (perhaps they should change that post-tsunami to 'Land of the Rising Waters') is responsible, however, for the single most devastating ongoing environmental disaster the world suffers - the mass production of modern plastic shit. That's why, when the Japanese tourist looking in my flat display case yesterday bought absolutely nothing, I was very relieved. Because if she had bought something, it would have been evidence to support the argument that my stock needs an injection of quality.

We had a few tourists visit The Cloisters Fair yesterday including a lovely woman from Toronto in Canada. She collects fire hose nozzles (!!) and I happened to have an antique copper one on my stall (!!). Not only did she take that but several other things too. She looked in my cabinet (minutes after the daughter of Nippon) and said 'I'll have that and that and that'. We like Canadians! I've been to Toronto in Canada and to an amazing antique centre there. The Canadians (like the Americans) have a natural interest in old stuff and are usually enthusiastic and surprisingly knowledgeable about antiques. More Americans and Canadians please: fewer Japanese.

One stallholder yesterday achieved a long-held ambition of mine in selling everything on his table. 'I don't want to take anything home' he said to me 'Can I put it all in the auction?' Of course, I was happy to oblige but before I managed to collect my thoughts on the matter he sold the lot to a visiting trader. Dan and I attempted to buy Bill the Toe's entire stall too but our valuations were somewhat different and the deal fell onto stony ground. I've had some success with pictures of late, not that they are my natural habitat, and curently have a number in on consignment including an absolutely super John Thirtle (1777-1839 Norwich School).

We visited Fakenham on Thursday and went into the 'new shed' at James Beck's place. It's certainly lighter and brighter than the previous one. Tom bought a few things including an ornately decorated High Victorian ceramic cheese dish from the nearby antique centre. I came away with absolutely nothing but then I'm getting fussy in my old age...

It's all in the buying though - that's where the battles are lost and won. Next week I am determined to buy and to that end will almost certainly go to at least two sales. There are so many to choose from - Aylsham on a Monday, Watton on a Tuesday, etc etc - that I am spoilt for choice. No doubt I'll end up where the wind takes me, it's just an adventure after all. It's an amazing adventure, vibrant and full of life. There are pit-stops too (mainly in pubs) because we can do that whenever we want. We are adults after all - just not very grown up. The evidence to support that was in Delaney's during the week and in 'The Fruit Based System'. We still play that game (which began in Tallinn in Estonia in 2006) - and so can you, so here is a little reminder:

1) Raspberry

2) Blueberry

3) Strawberry

4) Kiwi fruit

5) Melon

6) Apricot

7) Orange

8) Apple

9) Rhubarb

10) Lemon

And, of course 1001 variations of it. Pathetic nonsense - yes. Past its sell-by date - of course. Still hilarious after a couple of pints - definitely.

I could go to The Range or Homebase and become a dab hand at DIY. Or I could buy the complete set of Star Wars films and watch them from the comfort of my DFS sofa. Or I could drink tea and eat biscuits. Maybe I should do those things - the things that normal people do. But I don't understand them. Think I'll stick to hallmarks and alcohol.