Mixed Lot

Decisions decisions decisions - which car boot sale to attend on a Sunday? In the end we opted for Banham over the perhaps more obvious (and closer) contenders of Hellesdon and Arminghall. Stalham was also a possible but, like Hellesdon, starts later and we were up and ready by 6.30am. Not sure of the weather we headed south as Banham is (partly) undercover. Not that we were the first to arrive - in fact we were one of the last. Still, we managed to secure a little spot undercover as hoped and started to set-up - one half of the stall being long-lost crap from the store room and the other half being baby-related crap that has been cluttering-up the house for far too long.

Not that Beth and I are competitive, but it was billed a little bit as Antiques versus Mothercare. Who would take the most money? At first I was concerned because everyone at Banham appeared to be pregnant - even the men. There may be some truth in the 'Norfolk Dumpling' because you don't find this bodyshape anywhere else - they kind of have a shelf fitted just under their saggy tits. Of course, some of the women (quite a few in fact) were actually pregnant, which gave Beth a head start. She sold things I didn't even know we had. Soon I started to catch-up with a few bits and pieces, but nothing over £5. Still, lots of small regular sales add up.

Most importantly, we sold the high chair. That was our primary aim for the day - it is huge, not so much a high chair as a multi-equipped nursery with service tray. I was looking around the stalls when Beth sold it and when I got back she told me that a tall beautiful blonde European woman would be coming to collect it any moment. Beth went to the loo and I started to brush my hair in anticipation of the arrival of an Eva Herzigova look-alike. A few minutes later a little short black bloke started to nick the chair 'Oi mate, that's sold!'

'It's mine, I just bought it' he said.

'I don't think so mate' he certainly wasn't blonde or beautiful or even female for that matter 'just leave it there!'

'My wife just told me to pick it up' and he pointed to Eva in the distance who waved and smiled to me as she opened the boot of their 4 x 4.

'Ah...'

Beth and I couldn't stop laughing at that.

Things got a little more serious the next time she went off. A great hulking Eastern European bloke asked me how much one of the quilted nursery books was. 'A pound each' I said, making it up as Beth hadn't priced anything.

'Do you think I am a fool?'

'Ha ha ha - no mate, very funny!'

'Do you think I am stupid?'

Despite holding the hand of a small child, this bloke just went into psychological meltdown before my eyes. He clearly wanted to kill me (quite a few people would like to do that, actually). At first I thought he was joking but then I realised that he was serious - all over the price of a book. Eventually, prompted by the relative safety of a supportive crowd of Dumplings, I said 'Either button it or go back to Lithuania'. Now that was a risky strategy...

'I don't give a fuck' he said, before wandering off muttering to himself.

By midday, and with an amount of money taken to have made it worthwhile, we returned to Norwich. I think Beth took a little more than me - I guess that to some people second-hand baby clothes are essential whereas a Victorian blue & white coffee pot is not.

Next Sunday it is the first Great Norwich Yard Sale of 2011 - check out http://www.barnesauctioneers.co.uk/The%20Great%20Norwich%20Yard%20Sale for more information.